When you go on your first date with someone, it’s hard not to wonder if they’re “the one”, or what your kids would look like; those are natural thoughts, but maybe you’re thinking a little too far ahead. If you get stuck in that mindset of needing to find “the one”, you could easily miss them, so it’s better to approach dating in this way: is he/she bae?
If you find yourself wondering if this person you’re on your first date with is going to be your future spouse, you could end up getting hurt if the relationship doesn’t work out the way you’d hoped. If you approach your dates as trying to find a bae for the time being, you’ll find that your dates will be more enjoyable, and your relationships better than before.
You see, it’s okay to date for a while and not find “the one”; if you found “the one” in your first relationship, congrats, but that’s not how it’s going to go for the majority of us. The rest of us will have to go on tons of dates with different people, but that’s fine; those experiences make us better people, and a better match, for the people we are meant to be with.
So for the time being, just look out for bae. To help you narrow down the field, here are some questions you can ask yourself on your next date that’ll help you figure out if this guy/girl is bae material.
1. What’s the vibe they’re giving off?
The first date is meant for you and potential-bae to get to know one another, and to break the ice. You’ll quickly have an impression of the type of person they are, and most of time your gut feeling about that person is totally spot on; if something about them seems off, there’s a solid chance that you’re right.
If they seem like a great person on paper, but when you meet you just don’t like the vibe they’re giving off, feel free to decline a second date; you should only date people you feel totally comfortable with.
2. Are they cute?
Okay, I think we can all admit that we do care a little about how bae looks. Attraction is important in relationships, and since you don’t plan on making bae a long term thing, it’s fine to go after that nice piece of ass.
If you want, bae can be all about the looks and be basically lifeless inside that cranium; bae isn’t going to be around on a permanent basis, so feel free to ride whoever gets you going the most.
3. How’s their sense of humor?
You may or may not realize it, but having a sense of humor is important to help you get through not just life, but relationships as well. If bae has the humor of a plank of wood, ditch ‘em; if you’re cracking up each time you’re together, then this is a bae to keep.
If they’re serious all the time and never laugh at your jokes, they’re not bae material, let alone friend material. How can you have the kind of conversation that lasts for hours but seems to fly by when bae isn’t funny and at least somewhat entertaining?
4. Are they fun to be around?
Bae can’t be bae if they’re boring; bae needs to be fun and open to adventure. Bae is only going to be bae for so long, so they need to be fun and awesome to be around.
The memories you make with bae may subside when you start making memories with your true bae, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be positive memories you can look back on fondly. If bae isn’t taking you out for fun nights, on great dates, and doesn’t make you enjoy life more than usual, then they’re not bae.
It’s okay if you stay in some nights together, but you should drop bae if their idea of fun is yet another night in with Netflix.
5. How do they treat you?
A good question to ask yourself when you’re out with bae is how they treat you - do they treat you with the respect you deserve? Does bae compliment you, act like they’re interested in your life, and show general concern for you?
When you text bae, do they take forever, or are they texting back before you can put down your phone? When you come over and have a tired look showing just how rough of a day you’ve had, does bae come up to you and make all your issues disappear?
If bae makes you feel good and shows they care about what’s going on in your world, they’re bae. If bae hasn’t asked you about your day in weeks and doesn’t make you feel wanted, they’re not bae; they’re a huge asshole.
When you’re out on a first date, or are just hanging out with bae, ask yourself these questions, and see how the answers make you feel; is bae not doing as much as they could, or are they setting the standard for future baes? Even if you and bae have an understanding that this relationship isn’t meant for the long term, it’s important you still make each other happy and enjoy your time together - that’s why you’re together in the first place, right?